these days..... ...  what can i say ?
i do miss the old days, i can't but help think i fucked up somwhere along the lines of
the last 3-4 years... nothing jsut feels right anymore..
somedays i have no worries most days i feel liek a total wreck...
it's so hard to talk to anyone these days.. i don;t know why,
nothign just won't come out anymore. i can't express my feelings the way i use to.
i keep thinking the better days are gone. i try to be posistive.
but there is always something to keep me down every week.
yeah i don't want to sound like one of those people where everything is all about sadness and how they'd rather be dead then live in this world.
no im not liek that. im jsut saying life hasn't been treating me good latley.
maybe it's my fault, i don't know im scared of change. but maybe chage is what i need

so much / yet so little things has happend over the past few month. years..
that will probally scar me for life..
i jsut wish i could go back and change things . yeah sounds a bit cliched
but i  guess that's one thing we all have in common.. our regrets..

the reason im writing in here is becasue i guess i coulnd't probaly say this to anyone but at the same time feel's like i am..

there is so much more i want to wrtie down...but i won't..

a big change is ahead of me...
i'll be moving away from all my finreds.. and don't think i'll be seeing anyone for a while.

but yeah ..
 
lateley EVERYTHING FEELS SO FUCKED UP !!!
something is missing severley in my life i don't know what is... but i know something is missing... and i hope to find it again... 




in other news
yeah so i havne't written in this for quite awhile just like my past few entry's
the resason is bcoz i havne't had the net for the past 6motnhs i htink maybe before the chirsmas holidays.. thats along time... maybe from now on i'll update more frequent.. just for the heck of it... i liek reading back on memories.. but latley.. this year there hasn't been any memorable moment's, can you belivie it.. nealry half the year gone already.. my b-day comeing up soon.. i don't think i even want to celebrate..  don't know yet see what happens..

hey.
happy new year to anyone i wanted to update so poeple know what i've been up to.
[ and to know that im not dead ]
well for starters, my comps' been fucked up for the last 3-4 month's now so i havne't really had net for ages been outta wokr for the last 3 months but finally found wokr a few weeks ago actually it was only last week i finally found work well. things don't seem to go very well.. like one minute everything seems fine then the next everythings wrong i don't think i've gone a whole full week happy without somthign fucking up. but hey it's life.. that how it rolls.

yeah things don't seem to be going good much these days... it's jsut an endless desert.. meaning the happiness and funness seems to be dried up...[but i've sorta come to accept it though]

but yeah on other  news.. my best mates lost there licenses.. hahaha
im the only one that's stil got mine so i better be careful on the road, i gotta drive lieka bitch, arghh fuck i would type more stuff but yeah cbf and gtg, so selute to all ya'll
 
oh and snoop dogg concert sucked cock... !!! the g thang wasn't there snoop..
the g thang wasn't there..

oh yeah and i finally quit pills aswell =]..

yeha finally something good's coming my way, yeah i havne't written in this for ages. no point really but any ways seemsl iek i have to write down my thought's sometimes. so i got a job now, my back ache's my feet hurt. i think that means somthing.. was i wokring hard yesterday or was i just not up for work. ?but so anyways im pretty happy with it all. at least im finally gonna have christmas money n new years aswell. fark man how long has it been since i wokred.. i htnk amybe 2 years now.. haha i forgot how hard it was to be working. so anyways yeah i fianlyl got a job, i got my driver's license and i quit smoking.. what more can i ask for ? well i could ask for alot more, but iwon't get into that jsut yet. [let's jsut hope i can keep this job, actually i don't even know if im actualyl wokring there all the time i think i mgiht have to call up my agency today] hm i think i might do a long one this time around. i gotta lot on my mind. le'ts just hope i don't get to lazy typing it down.okay actually fuckj that i couldn't be fucked typing it all out but hwat i will type is you ever have that one regret that beats em all and you know it's gonna bite you up the ass one day... oh and also the worlds gonna end in 2012.. it's already beggining with these disasters every second or maybe even every week..

HEll YEAH... i finally got my mother fucken p's n oh yeah n i got more than 2000 hits for this blog.
i need to celebrate.. not for this 2000hits for this blog but for my mother fucken P's..
haaha Hmm.. well thats it..

Damn. it's been a very long time since i updated. anyhting on here. since i had shit all to do i decieded to update bcoz i got somthign worth putting typing down first of i added a little radio with funky music that plays. i "Borrowed" it from another site. but
i jsut hope this isn't illegal. hmm so anyways.. i think thats about it.. i
would type more shit out but it's fucken useless. nothign much happens anymore..
even tho alotta things have happend the past few months well not alot.. but big things..
hope to get my license soon coz nearly everyone that i know gotten there's
anyways that all.. oh k.k.kaayyyy..Kayyy..

HAHAHA goddamn so today i went to fairfield and on the way back home on the bus..
there were these arab fob cunts. liek you know speaking there fob language n all.
so i wasl ike yeah. whatever.but you know what made it funy.
while i sitting there minding my own business.
one of them them started rapping ain nothhng but G-thang ..
but it was so fobbed upp. i gave a burst of laughter.. not looking back so they didn't know i was laguhing at them.. this has got to be one of the funniest things i have ever heard in my life

well im 19 now..
it's sucks lol
not being 19.. but just in the position im in right now.
i gota $900 fine to pay off, stil got no job. and life aint looking to good.
seriously i don't know what to do anymore.. liek i do know what i want to do.
but it dosen't look liek it's coming my way.. yeah i know, i gotta work hard for it.
but somethings aren't jsut meant to be. it's not such a perfect world.
but im fine with it. it's life i guess. can't xomplain.
you know whats funny no one seems to even know it's my bday today.
besides the people i don't expect to rember.. haha
waht should i do ? might jsut go club n have a few drinks. yeah think i might do that.

OH shit.. tommoro.. will be the day the saga ends.. and begins..
yes you know what im talking about. i think..
star wars episode 3... can't wait.. it's jsut to long.. what can i do..
hahaha.. are you a Vader Hater ???
.....
...
.
hahah nothing else to say right now.. lol guess i just cbf..
TOOtaloooo

YEAh dreams.. can't explain em.. or can you ?

hmm..so yeah it got me thinking cause the other night i was watching white noise.
and thinking about my dreams.. like. why would i dream of such things when i don't even normaly or never even heard of stuff.
so i don't know if anyones ever thought of this before but heres what i think of our nightmares..i rekkon when were sleeping.
our mind isn't incontrol of our body and so that leaves our body free for spirits to enter. for better or worse. they either try to show us messages or just try to scare the fuck outta us..
or maybe even take over our boddies. but that's a little to extreme.
but yeah. so you know all them premanitions you always hear people having..

i rekkon that is really spirits entering there dreams and telling them of future events.
or what about when people get possesd..? might be schizofrenia or maybe liek what i said..
the bad boys enter to try and do harm.
anmd those fucked up nightmares... the ones that it's jsut so real but so far off that you think how could you dream of anything liek that ? how d oyou explain shit liek that..
i know this might sound stupid but.. hey it's jsut my theory of dreams..i had more to say but cbf
typing it down.. so smell ya later..

it's strange how music is like a bookmark for your memory's ?
you know what i mean ?
well right now im feeling fucked up. got shit all to do.
and can't realyl do anything besides listen to music thats about all i can do.
hmm another friday... another getting wasted till tommoro day..
wonder whats happeing tonight.. sam ol same ol...
there's this really cool song i like from mariah carey form her new album.
called shake it off. it's gotta areally smooth beat.
haha fuck man. don't even know why i still update for..lol, wel ldosen't matter.
not like i got anything else to do.
..............my head is pretty empty right about.. now.. so im off.